


L’heure entre chien et loup

by maeusetod



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bellarke, Detective!Bellamy, F/M, Lawyer!Clarke - Freeform, Suspense, blood-caked Murphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:56:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3994348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeusetod/pseuds/maeusetod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission has ended with the death of the hostage Bellamy gets suspended from police work. Feeling that there is more to the case than it seemed he keeps investigating on his own - and is confronted by the last person he expected to meet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	L’heure entre chien et loup

_As the world turns grey, how do you know if it is dusk or dawn, if it is a friend or foe?_

 

Scene of the crime, friend or foe  
I got a body to hide, we've got a body on show  
And with our bodies entwined we will know  
Paradise  
Placebo – scene of the crime

 

_Run. I had to run._  
_My boots burst the branches beneath my feet and made loud cracking sounds. Being silent wouldn't help me anyway. There was no place to hide. Not here, and not with so many on my trace. I had to be faster.  
The approaching darkness made it harder. My thighs were burning, and so was my lung. I was panting. Each breath had to come a little faster than the previous one, and I was afraid I couldn't hold the pace for much longer. But I had to. It was over if they caught me. The only way was to escape. The only way was to be faster._

_A branch cut my arm but I ignored the stinging pain from the wound. I heard sounds behind me. They were catching up. I had to be faster. I tried to mobilize strength I did' even know I possessed. Sweat was dripping of my forehead and was burning in my eyes making my vision blurry. Everything became a green mess. But I kept on running anyway. The ground was decreasing and I had to be more careful were to step. It would be over if I fell._

_I swept the sweat with the sleeve of my right arm while I used the left to hold onto the branches of the surrounding trees to make my way downwards. I noticed how some leafs got illuminated by light. They were using flashlight against the increasing darkness and they were close enough for me to see. More and more lights appeared like giant fireflies dancing through the forest. I had to be careful not to get caught in one of their beams so I changed my direction, and instead of trying to make my way further downhill to reach the ravine where they would see me immediately I tried to get uphill again._

_I heard them talking behind me. Shouting commands I could not understand, not yet. It wouldn't take much longer for them to reach me. My strength was leaving me. My knees yielded as I kept moving on. In my head one single thought ran on repeat, to escape. The shouting got louder and louder which meant they were either getting desperate or catching up. I sincerely hoped for the first. As I kept making my way into the approaching darkness I felt someone close behind me. Like a shadow following me wherever I went. They were indeed catching up and I could not run any faster. The pray was losing and the hunters were winning. But I kept on running. Sprinting through the trees trying to keep going even though I noticed them right behind me. The flashlights kept illuminating my back. They knew where I was and could predict where I was going. The endless forest held no way to escape. I had no option B. I had to be faster and I wasn't, and as I could feel the breath of someone behind my back I heard a shout echoing through the woodland.  
"Bellamy, wait!"_

 

The covers beneath me felt damp. Maybe I had been sweaty because of the nightmare or maybe because of what happened some hours ago. I wished for one night without disturbing dreams, but there seemed to be no hope for that. I was even more tired than the day before, and I wondered how long I could go on like this. The smell of freshly made coffee hit my nose, and I decided to sit up. The liquid would at least make it a bit more bearable.

"Good morning, princess," I said as I saw her coming in, a bright red cup in her hands. Her hair was already made and she was wearing a white blouse, but seemed to have put aside her skirt for later.

"Good, you’re up. I have to go soon and I'm not going to be late because of you,’’ she told me handing me the cup. Black coffee, no milk, no sugar. I wondered if I ever told her or if she just guessed it right.

"You just don't want your boyfriend to suspect anything," I replied with a smirk because I loved the look on her face when I mentioned him.

"What about our deal not to mention Finn?" she asked me bugged.

"I'm not good with deals, you know that," I answered while I put on my briefs. I stood up, taking another sip of coffee, and put the cream colored curtains to the side. They matched the rest of her apartment. Bright and sophisticated. The sun was already up too, and I wondered what time it was.

"You really have to leave soon," Clarke told me again. This time with a stern voice, almost demanding. I wondered if she used this voice in court, too.

"Hard fighting on two fronts, isn't it?" I asked walking towards her. She smelled of fresh shampoo and some kind of flowery scent. Whatever perfume she used I preferred her without it. I noticed she wasn't that amused talking about Finn as I was. I always wondered why she came to me anyway. I knew that she was someone with a high mindset towards loyalty. Someone who had made up for herself what was right and what was wrong, and thus she was breaking her own standards. I knew not everything was working with Finn the way she was wanted to, I knew it from the look on her face, but I never asked her. We relied on each other without being attached, and I didn't mind too much.

"Just don't like to talk about him. Let it just be the two of us," she stated grabbing the stuff she needed for the day. It was only fair since I told her next to nothing about my live either.

"Sorry to destroy your perfect world, but there will only be one king for you, and we both know it won't be me," I said.

"Stop talking like you would quote out of some history book, Bellamy. I don't fall for that," she pointed out.

"No, you fell for something else," I grinned, grabbed her by her waist and let my lips crush on hers.

She responded to the kiss, but pushed me away shortly after. It was time to get ready and leave before I made her mad and she would stop calling for a while. It had happened before so I learned when it was time to leave. Maybe if I wasn't free the whole day I would have left without complaining because I hated being late for work, as well, but right now I did not feel like hurrying. I assembled my clothes which were lying all over the floor and put them on. I could shower when I was home.

"Call me again," I told her as I was at the door and waited. As expected she came up to me again and kissed me goodbye. Even if she was always pissed in the morning because her conscience kicked in she would always do that. And I always waited for it to happen, as if this kiss was telling me there was more to it.

 

I took a long shower and got dressed. It was a nice day outside, and I was contemplating to swap my books for some outdoor activity, but just in the moment I was thinking about what to do with the rest of my time I got a call to appear to work. The strange thing was that neither was I told why nor was it a case of emergency. Something was definitely wrong. My instincts on matters like this never failed me. I had the feeling it had to do with my mistake some days ago.  
I took my time to drive to the department. Since they hadn’t told my why I should come I saw no reason to rush. At times like this I wished my old partner was still there. Someone I could rely on, someone who told me what I already knew, that I had not made a mistake, and that the little girl’s death was not my fault. Memories of the old times returned. Memories of Murphy and me riding in my car, windows down. Murphy holding a cigarette out of the window and screaming to the songs in the radio. I still didn't quite understand how it had all come to this. How he could have betrayed me after all the things we had been through together. Since the hostage-taking my mind seemed to be a mess. First the nightmares returned, and now I started to linger in memories, almost not noticing that the traffic light switched to green.

Fortunately the rush hour had already passed so I got there sooner than I had expected before I could get totally lost in my thoughts. People greeted me as I walked to the Chief officers bureau but it was restrained as if they already knew something I didn’t. Maybe the issue was indeed worse than I had thought. I was confident that I had made the right choice, that I did not do anything wrong, but maybe I was mistaken. 

 

As I opened the door the never changing face of Shumway showed itself. Never have I seen something like a smile on his face. Maybe it was this attitude that got him so far in his job. As long as he was my superior I knew I would never get any further than leader of my squad. He had me on his radar from the first day I got transferred here. I still had not the slightest idea why.

"Officer Blake, I see you got the call," he said, his voice cold and without any emotion. A good morning was nothing I expected anyway.

"Yes," I replied. He pointed at the chair in front of me and we both said down. After a short starring contest he went on.

"I called you here to tell you that you are suspended until further notice," he told me, and as he said it I may or may not have seen a slight grin on his lips. I knew that he was up to something, but this was way too much. He wanted to have me out of the picture for quite some time now, and it seemed he saw a chance and decided to grab it. The first time it had happened he had failed because some higher ups were not convinced that it was my fault, and I sincerely had hoped it would be like this this time again.

"You acted to rashly in this situation," he continued

"I acted according to my analysis of the situation," I told him imitating his emotionless voice even if I was boiling with fur on the inside.

"And you were wrong. As soon as you heard a girl was inside you did not even wait for the expert on negotiations but rushed inside the building," he told me.

"I tried to save a little girl's life!" I justified myself not able to hold my cool for long

"And did you save her?" He asked me.

"No," I had to admit. I felt the rage rising. I had problems to control my temper, and I knew he could see it in my face. I tried everything not to slam my fist at the table and scream at him. I was better than that, and I would not give him the satisfaction to give me trouble for doing so.

"The whole thing did not look good on TV, and now the higher ups want a scapegoat, and it's not going to be me," he said. Seems he didn't even care if my actions were right or wrong, all that mattered to him was that he came out of the situation without a scratch. So in the end I wasn’t mistaken. I did not do anything wrong. The only thing that I had committed was making bad press. I put my badge on the table and stormed out of the room, afraid I couldn't keep my temper under control for a second longer.

 

What had happened was taking its toll on my nerves. I had not had a decent night of sleep, and now I could not even go to work to distract myself. I had agreed to meet Clarke yesterday to keep my mind of it, but I could not call her again. It wasn't working this way. And I never called her; it was always she that asked for a meeting. The only way to get this matter out of my head was confronting it straight on. To do that I needed some insight on what the police knew until now. I had to know what Shumway had that he could use against me, and if I had to prepare myself for something worse than suspension. And that was why I was making my way towards the police station with a bribery planned.

I knew a police officer that owed me something, and I knew that contrary to her stern look she had a fable for caramel latte. So I was making my way to her desk with a grand cup of the hot beverage where she was looking through some files. Her long blond hair was in a tight bun and she had the same cold look on her face that she always had.

"What do you want, Bellamy?" she asked as she saw me.

"Good morning to you, too, Officer Byrne," I answered

"It's almost twelve," she corrected me.

She took the coffee out of my hand and tasted it. Her countenance didn't change to the better though.

"I won't give you any information," she said taking another sip.

"Come on, how often did I help you?" I whined hinting at the favor she owned me.

"You're suspended, Bellamy, you shouldn’t even be here," she replied not even looking up from the papers in front of her, as if she could assume me away if she did not see me.

"News do travels fast," I remarked. It seemed like the muted greetings I got earlier were indeed because they already knew the news of the day

"I won't lose my job helping you", she said.

"You might lose your sincerity if you don't," I tried to convince her. 

"It’s not even my case," she said stoically.

"I bet you knew that I was suspended before I did, so don’t give me that," I replied crossing my arms in front of me.

"Okay, okay. All I know for now is that something doesn’t add up. The girl that died; she was all alone. We thought that she was there with her parents, but it seems she was in foster care and no one who was related to her in any way was inside the building. A little girl in a bakery, that’s one thing, but a little girl alone in an insurance company makes little sense," she told me, tone low in case someone was all ears.

"So there is something more to it," I guessed.

"Seems to be, but here is the strange thing. If this was the case it would become big news in the office. But it isn’t. I’ve never witnessed something like this," she continued.

"So what’s the reason for the taking of hostages? What was the guy’s motive?" I asked her.

"I don’t know. I told you all the information I have. There is something strange going on, but I have not the slightest idea what," she explained.

"Thanks for helping me out," I said and went before someone would get to curios of our conversation.

"Thanks for the coffee," Officer Byrne shouted as I left the building.

 

The modern building in front of me seemed to be made only of glass. Even in the dim light of dusk it still looked impressive and I wondered how it looked like if the sun illuminated the façade. Harwick insurance Inc. was printed in golden letters above the glass doors. It hadn’t made that good of an impression when I had been here the last time, but then I had to focus on other things and hardly looked at the buildings exterior. Nothing reminded of the tragedy that had taken place here a few days ago.

I was just about to go inside when I heard a voice behind me. A voice that I thought I would never hear again, and for a moment I thought it was all a dream and I would wake up any second.

"Bellamy, wait!" was all I heard him say.

I turned slowly, not knowing what to expect. In the shadows of the dim light of dusk I saw a silhouette coming towards me. At first I thought I might have been mistaken, and the voice belonged to someone else, but as he came closer I noticed I was not wrong. I shivered as I saw him. I definitely hadn’t expected to see him like this again that. Dried blood on his face, bruises and scratches everywhere. His clothes were torn and his cheeks hollow. He looked as if hell had taken him just to spit him out again. I could not believe he dared to appear in front of me again, not after all that happened between us. My blood began to boil. It didn't matter how pathetic he looked right now, I clenched my fingers to a fist and punched him straight in the face. He fell to his knees immediately. It seemed that all his strength had left him, and I was about to hit a second time when I noticed the look in his eyes. They were cold, almost lifeless. It was as if he had seen death and now nothing could harm him anymore. Whatever happened to him had changed him in a way I would never be able to understand. His eyes frightened me. But I wasn't afraid for myself, I was for him. It appeared I had wished him hell one too many times.

"Murphy," I said almost whispering as I had realized only now who he was.

"Please don't," he begged holding his hands in front of his face protectively. I did not know what to do right now. I had never seen him in a state like this. All the anger towards him that I held all this time, all the things I imagined doing should I ever see him again, nothing of that seemed important anymore. But I didn’t know what to do either. A part of me wanted to hold my hand out to him to help him on his feet, and another just wanted to walk away leaving him in this pathetic state he somehow deserved.

Murphy got up on his own, and it was then I realized that he was indeed here again, after all this time. I had always wondered if he was still alive, hoping he was because otherwise it would have meant that I would have left him to die, and that was a thought I could not live with.

"Don't go in there," he told me.

"Why?" I asked him and wondered why he was here, why he had appeared now of all the times, and if we had met out of coincidence or if he had known I was coming here. Since it was Murphy I expected the latter.  
"Because I know some things about the people inside there that you don't," he explained. I wondered if he was lying to me. It would not be the first time.

"Just don't go in there," he repeated.

"I need a better reason than you telling me not to," I replied.

"Then let me explain, but not here. Somewhere where we are alone," he said looking in every direction as if he expected that someone would jump out of the shadows any moment. I hesitated for a moment. It just didn’t make sense to me that he appeared here without a warning and then told me what to do. On the other side I was just too curious of what was going on because for all I was sure this was no happenstance. Officer Byrne was right, something was going on here and I had not the slightest clue what it was.

"Ok, come with me," I told him not exactly knowing why I trusted him. Maybe it was the miserably way he looked, maybe because the thought of never seeing him again crossed my mind. I went back to my car. Murphy followed me a few steps behind. He almost seemed to be another person. There was nothing left of the Murphy that always held his head high and had a comment on his lips that was crossing the border of decency.

"Still the same old ride," he commented as he said down in the passenger seat of the red convertible. Maybe I was wrong, maybe the same Murphy was still there, only covered in blood and bruises. As I started the car and drove to my apartment, because I could not think of a better place for now.

 

I took a sixpack out of the fridge. I needed a drink, and from the way Murphy looked he needed one even more than I did.

"Why are you here Murphy?" I wanted to know.

"To warn you," he told me.

"I want to know why you came back!" I asked again my temper rising. I wanted to know the real reason, and what he was up to.

"The people you are after are dangerous," he told me.

"I’m not after anyone, Murphy," I replied.

"They do not care. You are snooping around, and if they notice that you do, they’re going to come after you," he said.

"I was just there because I wanted to know what happened during the hostage situation, that is all Murphy. This is no espionage thriller," I reassured him.

"Do I look as I came from a movie shooting," he shouted and with this he was right. He looked awful but I still didn’t get the picture.

"The girl that was held hostage; she was there to take revenge on the company," he told me his face looking serious.

"She was just a kid, Murphy," I told him not believing a single word.

"I was just a kid, too, when I beat the daylights out of somebody, remember?" he replied. Of course I remembered since I was the guy who had stopped him in the end.

"The girl’s father had worked with me in the same private military company and died during a mission. But suddenly the whole company just disappeared without a trace like it never existed, and that is where the insurance company comes to play. It seems that they are having numerous of those private military firms on hand using them when they need to and disbanding them again. The girl wanted them to tell her the truth and even had a weapon with her, but they got hold of the weapon and turned the tables," he started to explain.

"You’re making a little girl into a criminal?!" I shouted not understanding what was the point in what he was telling me.

"Since when are you like this? Don’t you believe me?" Murphy asked.

"Since when?! Since I saw everybody I cared for, everybody I swore to protect die right in front of my eyes, and guess whose fault it is," I screamed at him my anger now totally consuming my senses. I grabbed Murphy by the neck and pushed him towards the couch. I could not understand how he dared to speak to me like this. I had no trust for him left, and I thought he would know that after what had happened. Murphy started coughing, his eyes wide with fear, and I noticed that I was almost strangling him. I pulled back again and let myself fall back. I sat on the floor in front of the couch, and the memories of the last time we met started playing in my mind and I could do nothing to stop it even if all I wanted was to forget.

 

_I couldn't believe my own eyes even though he stood right in front of me. Murphy was dressed in one of those navy blue bomber jackets with the logo of the private military contractors company printed on the back, and he had a gun in a black leather holster at his right hip. I had thought Murphy would be better than this, but maybe after all that happened things had changed, even if he had still the same I-don't-care-what-you-are-telling-me look on his face. The next thing I noticed was that they were way to shorthanded to do anything else than stay put and wait for backup to arrive. The moment I wanted to request for it, Murphy instincts awoke. He noticed someone was there. I had shouted the words 'police' and 'drop your weapons' over and over, but they were drowned by the blasting of guns and the screams of my men. They all went down in what seemed to be seconds, dropping down left and right from me, and even if I tried to do my best to aim it was no use. Somewhere in the midst of the fight I noticed I was the last men standing, and all I could do was to run away .So I did._

 

It was as if I could hear them screaming again. Hear them crashing to the ground. I tried to forget these thoughts as I took another sip of the beer that was somehow still in my hands. Murphy was sitting next to me, saying nothing, and we stayed like that until I calmed myself down. There was something I had wanted to ask him all this time, but I did not dared to because I was afraid of the answer.

"Why were you there? Why did you sign with those guys?" I finally asked because I knew I had to know the answer to keep my mind in peace.

"I was never part of the group, Bellamy. They respected me because they respected you. But I could not keep going like that. You were a coward, Bellamy. They may have looked up to you, but you had no control over them, and they hated me. You knew that, and you did nothing. It seemed to be more promising to be leader of my own troupe. I needed a change from those guys that tried to force me out the second you were out of sight. And don't pretend you didn't notice, because I know you did," he told me but somehow it did not sound as if he blamed me, even if I knew I was the one to blame.

"But you knew those guys had dirt on their hands. I thought you would have more dignity than that," I told him. It made no sense to me to whitewash my thoughts.

"Dignity?!" Murphy starts laughing, “Dignity is a luxury not everyone can afford. I wanted to make a living and guess what I'm good at?"

"What now?" I asked him.

"Now I need your help," he said surprising me. I did not know what to answer so I waited for him to continue.

It was a rare thing to see Murphy ask for help. I had only seen it twice before, the one time he had almost beat a guy to death and asked me to help him out of the mess, and the second time to give him my notes for the qualifying exam for the police. Both times I helped him out, and both times I later somehow regretted my decision. Murphy was someone who always ran into problems, and most of the time his own pride stood in his way. Murphy had been alone most of his live and had learned to fight on his own, and Bellamy had no idea what Murphy saw in him to respect him enough to follow him around for long. But a lone wolf stayed a lone wolf so even when they were together Murphy had always tried to play his own game. I had no idea what he had in mind this time.

 

"They are after me, Bell," Murphy said and I wondered why he used the short form of my name now. Even before when we were still friends he had seldom used it.

"Who exactly is after you?" I asked him.

"They all belong to the same organization. The ones form the insurance company, and the ones of the private military contractors. And they are influential, Bellamy. They have their hands in everything. After what happened I knew that you had been after them for a reason so I tried to find out more," he said.

"So you are the good guy now," I said laughing.

"Listen, I know I made a mistake but did you really think I would let them do whatever the hell they wanted," he almost shouted. I knew Murphy always tended to play by his own rules, but when it came down to things he never wanted anyone anything bad.

"These are guys that let someone disappear, and they had me, Bellamy. Do you think I look like this because I like to," he continued starring at the wall in front of him, and I knew there was something else in front of his eyes.  
"What do you want from me?" I asked expecting him to ask me if he could crash and hide in my apartment for a while.

"Do what you always do, hunt down the bad guys. Everything you need is in here but you have to be careful whom you ask for help. Believe me, they have eyes and ears everywhere," he said taking out a thumb drive.

"What about you?" I asked. 

"I don't know," he said but something in his tone told me he wanted to go somewhere far away and just leave the mess behind. I thought about what I should do with this file, and it became clear to me that I had to ask Clarke for help. She was strong enough for a task like this, and if she took this case she would not be persuaded by anything and anyone to give it up. And she had a reputation to win all her cases. The only thing that I was unsure of is was how to explain to her how I got the file without mentioning Murphy. She would definitely want to know everything, and even if I wouldn't tell her the whole department knew the story. It would mean to be more deeply involved with her, and that thought somehow frightened me. Now that Murphy had given me the file I did not know what to do. I still held my grudge against Murphy but I had no strength left to argue. I could barely comprehend all the things that had happened this day. I needed more time to think it all through. I knew I should ask Murphy for more information, but the silence was appealing and I just did not want to know what had happened after we both found ourselves facing each other in battle. I knew it would only hurt to know more. I was partly at fault, too, because I had never cared about what had happened to him.

We both did not have a clean slate anymore so I suppressed the urge to throw him out of the apartment and let him sit there next to me.

Somewhere during the passing time Murphy's hand came to rest on my thigh. I didn't know why he did it, if it should be a sign of comfort or a sign of apologies, but I let it stay there because at the moment everything seemed right and wrong at the same time. It somehow felt like back in the old times where we had discussed cases drinking beer in my apartment. Just the two of us against the rest of the world. I ignored the bad feeling in my stomach and pretend for a while that none of the bad things happened between us, and that the two of us could be okay again. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, I wanted even more than that, but I knew there was a boundary between us that I would always be unable to cross, and so we just sat there sipping on one beer after another. 

 

The ringing of the doorbell awoke me. The first thing I noticed was the empty space beside me. Murphy was gone. All that was left were empty bottles of beer and the thumb drive on the table. Not even a note or any kind of clue what he was going to do now. The ringing wouldn’t stop so I decided to get up and open the door. At the other side Clarke awaited me. Her hair was open and fell in wavy curls on her shoulder, and she was not wearing any business attire but a simple white shirt and jeans. She had that annoyed look on her face that always made her look as if she was about to kill someone for his or her mistakes. 

"You phoned me three times and left cryptic messages at three at night, what is wrong with you suddenly?" she asked.

I remembered telling Murphy that Clarke was a person I trusted and that she could help us with the case, but I guessed there would be no "us" anymore.

"I need your help," I told her.

"I guessed that," she said walking into my apartment as if it was hers already. I suddenly felt as if she was intruding.

"I’m sorry. I know I should have been more careful," I apologized remembering our previous conversation about her boyfriend.

"You don’t need to be. We had a fight last night," she told me sitting down on the coach inspecting the empty bottles in front of her.

I suddenly did not know what to answer. I needed her help but after yesterday’s night I wasn’t sure if I needed her anymore. She was looking at me and expected me to say something.

"You know that if you are looking for someone to console you, I’m not that type of guy," I said.

"I just need a place to stay," she answered. It was strange that after all this time where I somehow longed for her to be with me rather than her boyfriend now that she decided to stay it didn’t feel right anymore. Maybe it would after some time, after I forgot of his existence again but not for now. For now I just let it happen because I know he wanted this case to be closed as much as I did, and without Clarke I would not have a chance to win it. I was using her and I knew it was wrong, but for now it was all I was capable of doing.

"What do you need my help for?" she asked.

"It’s complicated. I’ll explain it to you later. For now let’s just get some of your stuff," I said noticing she had rushed here without even a handbag with her. She had just used my phone calls as an excuse to show up at my door.

"Okay," she agreed and got up again. I grabbed my keys, a jacket, and the thumb drive because it was too important leave it somewhere unattended, and we walked out of the building.

We made our way to the car that I had parked a bit further away due of lack of parking space as I saw a figure in the shadows poorly illuminated by the dim light of the early morning sun, and something in me wanted to scream at him to wait up, but my mouth kept shut and the next moment there was nothing to be seen anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> This is my first the100-fanfic. I hope you liked it.  
> Beta-read by wolfenmond.


End file.
